Thursday, June 07, 2007

Today's Complaints

• I've OD'ed on caffeine (again) and therefore can't hold my hand steady enough to draw pictures, AKA my job.

• Fucking Paris Hilton. Aside from being an entitled useless waste of genetic material -- she's really putting a cramp on my Pajiba Love column today by whoring up every conceivable entertainment/news outlet.

• My phone has one energy nugget left because I forgot to charge it this morning, and will likely go dead by the end of the day.

• I hate fucking air conditioning. I've covered up both of the vents in my office with drawing tablets to no avail.

• Somebody get me a haircut.

• I have to go to the grocery store on my lunch, and we all know how I feel about that.

• My semi-new gold ballet flats are already breaking -- the sole is peeling off the left shoe. Fuck you, Steve Madden. And, ebay.


TK said...

If I may offer a few suggestions?
1. Try heroin to take the edge of the caffeine.
2. Nature will not forgive Paris's freedom: Hence Giant Squid invading California.
3. Tin cans and string... the wave of the future.
4. Can you work outside? Failing that, wrap yourself in paper. It' an excellent insulator. I learned this from Day After Tomorrow, so it must be true.
5. You're in an office. You should have scissors.
6. Send a lackey or intern. Threaten to fire or kill them if they decline.
7. Yeah... I got nothin' on this one.

Aren't I helpful?!

litelysalted said...

SO helpful!

I think I got one for #7: Take shoe off, beat self over head repeatedly with it unless self passes out. Better luck with life tomorrow.

sme said...

I threw a hissy fit this morning when I saw the Paris Hilton headline.

I'm sorry your day sucks. My day kinda sucks too. Tomorrow will be awesome.

Carrie said...

The air conditioning vent in my office is located directly under my desk, so every time it comes on it blows up my skirt/pants/shorts. I got the maintenance department to deaden the vent from the other side to completely close it off...can they do that at your work? My life is so much happier now.

MEECH! said...

I totally threw a temper tantrum when I heard about Paris, in the presence of my boyfriend. Justice? This morning I heard that the judge is going to attempt to put the smackdown on her and the cockwad officer who approved her "home arrest".

litelysalted said...

Yep, and today I get to be the lucky one to cover it.

Manny said...

I'm with you on the haircut...I look like Joey Butafuco (did I spell that right?do I care?) right now. Plus I have a five o'clock shadow and it's 10:54 A.M.

Carrie...ummm, by any chance is there a small camera under your desk right next to the fan? Just askin..

Anonymous said...

A Lite Salt Fact:
30% of the worlds salt goes to garnising margaritas.

Anonymous said...


Phentermine said...

Great Article! Thank You!

Buy Phentermine said...

Thanks to author! I like articles like this, very interesting.

Free Ringtones said...

nice blog!

buy viagra said...

nice blog!Nice information

Levitra said...

:-) ochen\' zaebatyj blog!

Buy Soma said...

soglasen s vami ochen\' zaebatyj blog!

Anonymous said...

Keep up the great work. It very impressive. Enjoyed the visit!