Monday, August 21, 2006

Exclusive! Mark Karr's secret My Little Pony collection!*


Listen to me, you crazy ass bible belt parents. If seeing photos of this guy isn't enough of a reason not to dress your 6 year old child up like a prostitute, then I don't know what it takes.

I'm fascinated by true crime stories, and have been known to watch hours upon hours of shows like Forensic Files, Cold Case, Files, American Justice, etc. But I just can't keep up with the deranged insanity that is going on in the media right now. From what I've read, it kinda sounds like he's just some schizophrenic freak obsessed with the case, and maybe didn't actually so much kill the girl. That's not to be misconstrued as a green light to keep dressing children up like prostitutes either, because clearly you shouldn't do that anyway.

Don't get me wrong, if we could convict just for looking like a creepy mothereffer, (and why the hell shouldn't we?!) than this guy would go to the chair, only to be resuscitated and fried again. I mean, really. Look at this guy! He is some serious nightmare material. Stephen King wishes he could write a character like this. Maybe he didn't kill JonBenet, but looking like this he probably did something, right? But if it's all the same, I think I'd prefer to just wait until it's all over and have Bill Kurtis wrap it up for me neatly in a one hour package.

*I totally made this up. But give it, oh, 4ish hours and I guarantee you it will be front page news on MSNBC.

7 comments:

Boogie On Reggae Woman said...

i totally don't think he did it... he does look crazy, but i think the media attention is what he is looking for... i dunno, i still think it was the parents!!!

Anonymous said...

Miss Lightly Salted,
Again, you put my exact thoughts down in your blog. Beauty pageants are evil; they set the eating disorders in motion.
I love American Justice! Bill Kurtis is the best. Did you know that freak Karr's first wife was only 16 when they married?
By the way, I also agree that Geraldo is a douche bag.

Meech said...

In response to the above comment: Karr's first wife wasn't 16, she was 14!!

I know what you mean by Stephen-King-creepy, I said the SAME EXACT THING this weekend... watch this guy's eyes move around when he's talking. Ohh, the shivers!

Can you believe he's 41? All that little girl crotch slime must have been good for wrinkles.*




* sorry, Jesus

litelysalted said...

When I first read through these comments I thought Bill Kurtis married his wife at 14. Doh de doh.

Little girl crotch?? BWA!!!!!!*

* I too, am sorry Jesus.

no said...

*sorry, jesus

is probably the best asterisk i've ever seen.
if i may, i'd like to cyberly award you both 500,000 of whatever the blogspot equivalent of myspace kudos are.

and yeah, that dude is creepy central.
*shudder*

Anonymous said...

i couldn't agree more. once again the media has run away with itself. i was surprised to see the case brought up at all... I thought we collectively decided not to care about jonbenet back in 1997 after realizing how messed up her parents were and that they probably caused their own demise. this guy just reminds me of michael jackson part 2, and i don't think he did it either.

Anonymous said...

AND he woulda made one UGLY broad!