Thursday, October 05, 2006

Chris Hansen is my hero!

In honor of the return of Dateline NBC: To Catch A Predator, I am reposting this (slightly edited) review from my old blog, for your reading pleasure. It's airs tomorrow (Friday) night at 9:00. If you're like me and have no life and live for seeing grown men beg and plead and cry, you will so be watching this.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

First of all, this show is just awesome. The premise is as follows: the Dateline crew rents a luxe house and sets up camp in Town X. Aided by a non-profit watchdog group called "Perverted Justice", (which is awesome in itself) they pose as 13-16 year olds and conduct lewd online conversations with sex offenders in attempt to lure them to said house to be set-up, humiliated, and subsequently arrested by law enforcement.

It takes elements from several of my favorite shows (Cheaters, Maury, COPS) and combines them into one glorious mismash of Surprise!, Decoys, gratuitous bleeping, denial in the face of hard evidence, and the violent apprehensions of retarded redneck criminals. In fact, the only thing that could make this show better, (although I don't watch American Idol) is if they showed a montage of them apprehending the perverts to the "Had A Bad Day" song. Montages are great.

Oh, but there's more! Sometimes they actually read the dirty chat transcripts on air, by ACTORS!!! Just because it's an online conversation doesn't mean you still can't get that Realistic Pervo Effect!

The apprehension part is also pretty good. I mean, these are hardly dangerous criminal masterminds here. They're just lonely, retarded old pervs who are looking to drink some Mike's Hard Lemonade and get some fresh 14-year old nookie. But I have seen less violent takedowns on COPS after high speed car chases with armed assailants. Occasionally they'll even dress an undercover officer up like a shrub (camouflage) to jump out and detain the pervs for the ultimate element of surprise, before they smash his face into the pavement.

Let's face it though. How many 14 year olds really are interested in having sexy conversations with old men online, much less inviting them to their homes? If there truly are kids out there who are that belligerently stupid, do they even deserve a watchdog group? It's called natural selection, people! I don't know, but either way it's excellent goddamn entertainment, so keep up the good work, NBC!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I work with teenagers everyday whom are stupid enough to do this 24x7 - they never learn! AGRH! One wonders at the intelligence of the next generation sometimes! The problem with natural selection is that if they actually are allowed to breed they create more even dumber than themselves!

Love your site though, had a great laugh!

Anonymous said...

retards attract even more retards.
and watching the retarded enveloped in a crime they knowingly executed is awesome to see unfold and be punished for. I find it most interesting when the guy shows up at the house with lube, porno and booze and claims he was attending an 'open house'.

just fantastic.

mk

Meechity said...

AAAHAHAHAHAHA!!

I love that show!! I usually catch the tail end of it at the bf's house.

I remember the guy at the top... didn't he have a bag of cheeseburgers? Filled with lube? Were they lubeburgers?