Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Who wants to assemble IKEA furniture for me today?

When I arrived to work this morning I noticed that "Office Santa" (aka "My Boss") had left a new printer/scanner cabinet from IKEA in my office over the holiday. I've so far gotten as far as unpacking the (nine) larger pieces of wood and then I had to stop for a coffee break. When the coffee finally activates my brain and I leave this zombie-like state I'm currently inhabiting, I may start panicking over the vagueness of the following instructions:


Chris said...

Those drawings seem pretty cut and dry to me:

Step 1: Talk to someone nearby about screwdrivers. Prepare for long, awkward pause or two in the conversation.

2: DON'T kneel over a broken drawer w/ your arms behind your back, pouting.

3: DO pat your drawer w/ loving reassurance while scratching your ass.

4. Instead of trying to configure the furniture pieces, find a Swedish-to-English translation pamphlet.

5. Use pamphlet to call IKEA headquarters and rip them a new one concerning their weird assholish instructions that are packed w/ more oblique symbolism than a Bergman film.

Chris said...

(re: #4: oops. I meant English-to-Swedish).

litelysalted said...

That was fantastic. I would totally be laughing right now if I wasn't already crying.

Anonymous said...

Draw dicks and boobs on the characters and send it back.