Not your mother's Fairytale.

This past weekend I had the experience of seeing Pan's Labyrinth, from Latin director Guillermo del Toro. If you enjoy fantasy/fairy tale genre films such as (regular) Labyrinth, MirrorMask and the Dark Crystal, than this is absolutely NOT the movie for you. And I cannot stress that enough.

Set in 1944 during the period of the Spanish Civil War, Pan's Labyrinth centers around Ofelia, daughter of a widow who recently remarried a Captain of the Spanish army. The film opens as Ofelia and her mother are traveling to the fortress(?) where the Captain is stationed; her mother expecting his child. This essentially being a fairy tale, and the Captain essentially being a step-parent, he is naturally a sadistic monster.

Going into this film, I wasn't so naive as not to understand that this was supposed to be an adult movie. I had even heard that was on the gory side. What I wasn't expecting, was to watch the majority of this film through my fingers, cowering helplessly in my seat. While the basic premise of the film is about Ofelia and the fantasy world she discovers, (creates?) most of it actually revolves around the underlying plot of the war and conflict between the fascist Captain's men and the rebel army. What I wasn't expecting from this movie was the level of horrific, graphic violence and sadistic brutality I've only heard about associated with Mel Gibson's work. (Or, "work," if you will.)

We're talking guys getting their faces eviscerated with broken bottles, and crude amputations, and people stitching up their own faces after getting their cheek slashed open with a knife. In instances where someone was killed with a simple bullet to the head, I breathed a sigh of relief. Not to "spoiler" anything, but I really believe that any casual filmgoer or overall fan of the genre should really understand what they're getting themselves into with the price of admission.

Aside from all that, Pan's Labyrinth is a beautifully orchestrated film, filled with breathtaking imagery. Without the snuff aspect I likely would have given it a standing ovation.

Oddly enough, the most horrifying moment of the evening came before the film, when they showed a trailer for Jennifer Lopez and Marc "Scrawny McRatface" Anthony's new movie, El Cantante. I believe that's Spanish for Pure Shit. Not positive, I kinda skipped out on that class in high school. Oh, Jenny from the Block. Has Gigli taught you nothing? Of course, part of the reason why Gigli was such a colossally embarrassing failure, was because people actually gave a shit in the first place. So, at least El Cantante has that much going for it.