Friday, February 02, 2007


First of all, obviously this isn't a gossip site. We've got enough of them out there already, and people who are better at it then me. But I have in the past, made exceptions to express bemused fascination over the life and loves of Britney Spears.

• We all laughed when she married the loser and got fat.

• Then, we all laughed at that loser when she divorced his babydaddyin' ass and maybe even secretly hoped for a triumphant comeback.

• The triumphant comeback, as it turns out, had something to be desired. Namely, underpants.

• With each photo of Britney becoming progressively more horrifying than the last, we're all now inexplicably rooting for the loser.

The latest ubiquitous crop of photos to pop up online show Britney during a shopping trip to Target. Now clearly I'm not a celebrity, and I don't have photographers on my ass 24/7 like a pack of vultures. However, even in own my "little people" way, I still don't:

A.) Shop at Target to begin with, or
B.) Go out in public looking like this.

I look nicer dropping a Netflix envelope in the mailbox just in case I happen to cross paths with one of my retired neighbors. But that's just me. I'm sure there's plenty of non-celebrity types who go out in public with stained up shirts and the hair a mess.

So aside from the fact that she dresses this way knowing damn well it's going to be plastered all over the internet before she even gets home with her Michael Graves toilet paper, there's just one thing that really, really bothers me about it: The lipstick. Why, Britney? WHY?? If you're gonna go with the sloppy look, just run with it. Adding lipstick to the ensemble just screams out "Poor Tranny" or "Escaped Mental Patient." I just don't understand.

This is going to haunt and torment me; and be responsible for endless sleepless nights. I just know it.


Stheno said...

Brainless Britney knows not what she does! Another blogger posted this photo and commented that she looked like 'Dog The Bounty Hunter'. The sad thing is that it's true :(

aejr said...

i was always confused with the "just lipstick" look myself... although i have to admit, i love target. ESPECIALLY their clothes. hahahahah

Anonymous said...

HEY! what's wrong with Target? It's the appropriate alternative to Wal-mart.
I don't know why someone with as much money as Britney would choose to shop at Target....maybe she used up the last of her lipstick on the way out the door and needed to run and get more. She IS wearing Target's signature color.

Is it just me, or does she look like she's losing her hair?

litelysalted said...

Sorry for the Target hate. ;)

It's not so bad I guess. They do have some nicely designed stuff, I'll give them that. I try to avoid big box stores in general though... (I will go to Target, albeit rarely, but I downright refuse to shop at Walmart.)

I guess what I hate about Target the most are all the brainless, overly made-up yuppies who wonder around like zombies and bump into you with their fucking carts. After my last weekend visit to Target I could emphasize with American-hating countries.

Anyway, anon, yes she probably is losing her hair. There was a wack-job that lived across the hall from me sophomore year of college who would dye her hair several times a week, (in the dorm bathroom sink—yuck) until it started falling out in clumps. And her hair looked a lot like Britneys does.