Friday, October 20, 2006

Fuck Football In The Face!*

I know I'm not going to be making any friends with this blog.

Well, football season is well upon us again, like a swarm of mosquitoes or some other pesky irritation. Seriously, football has got to be the dumbest sport known to mankind, and I feel like I'm the only person capable of understanding this. You've got a bunch of big dumb turds on the field, the whistle blows, they all run around and collide with each other for 4 seconds and then stop and have a conference about it for 5 minutes. No wonder the average sports fan has to be well lubricated to enjoy this. It's only slightly more compelling than watching paint dry.

I did watch the Superbowl recently when Philly made it in. Only because I was incredulous that a Philadelphia sports team could actually make it that close to winning anything. If I believed in karma and all that stuff, I would say Philly's bad luck is due mostly in part to the shitty sportsmanship of Philadelphia sports fans.

Oh, we can't forget the fans! Fan reaction is the best and only entertaining part of football season. As if the local news isn't mind numblingly stupid enough already**, after a big game they always take the crew into the popular sports bars to have drunken dullards slur the Eagles fight song into the camera. You'd think that would get old, but trust me it doesn't, in the same way Cops doesn't get old. Watching drunk people make asses of themselves never goes out of style.

* TM-Kerry

** Yesterday Laurie Delgado on NBC10 actually referred to "Another twist in the divorce between Paul McCartney and his wife Linda McCartney..." That's the kind of crack reporting I've come to expect from the news team that employs Terry Ruggles.


couscouscaboose said...

Dude, I'm totally with you. I hate football. Run, tackle, stop ... run, tackle, stop ... it's so stupid!

And yes, Eagles fans are idiotic. When I worked at Boscov's the store manager was a huge Eagles fan and every five minutes before that Superbowl they'd play the Eagles fight song over the intercom ... at Boscov's. Sooo stupid.

loveyouintheface said...

I don't mind football because it makes me think of Thanksgiving which in turn makes me think of pumpkin pie, which in turn makes me happy. I have always wondered about a prevailing obsession with the game most men seem to have. More recently, I have witnessed the fanaticism of Philadelphia Eagles fans. It would be an undertatement to say that they scare me.

Also, don't Shatner and I make a swell looking couple?:)

aejr said...

I hate football for many reasons, but mainly because our country and our society glorifies the players. I can't tell you how many papers I have to read from freshmen guys about "winning the big game." Even when I tell them that it's a horrible topic, and they'll most likely fail, they still write about it. In the end, someone wins. And we will forget that someone in less than five years down the road.

sme said...

ok. two months ago i would have completely agreed with everything you had to say about football. since then i've been coerced by my evil boyfriend into watching football with him every sunday - and it rocks. he explained the rules and the positions and a whole mess of other stuff that i kinda forget now, but we always have a really good time watching it together.
anyway, now i'm completely hooked and i sorta feel like a hypocrite. oh well.

oh yes. i'm just some random person that found your page and i think your blogs kick ass.

litelysalted said...

Welcome sme! You must be smarter than me, because my boyfriend has also explained the rules but I still don't get it. Football is like rocket science played by neanderthals.

Also... LYITF and the Shat make a luuurvely couple :)