Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Indie Movie Dreck.

What's the difference between "indie" and "low-budget" anyway? And does The Squid and the Whale even fall into either of those categories? If a shitty movie falls immediately into obscurity, does anyone even care? Those, my friends, are questions I do not even care enough to explore.

I'm not crazy much for films which esteem shock value over things like interesting characters and plots (I'm looking at you, Todd Solondz.) At any rate, the Squid and the Whale was no exception. I can't really give much of a review because I turned it off a half hour into the movie. Not so much because it featured a small child drinking beer and talking about his mother in explicit sexual situations, but because it was a boring movie which featured a small child drinking beer and talking about his mother in explicit sexual situations. And all of the characters were assholes, even the kids. One thing I can't get behind is a movie where every single character is grating and unlikeable. Which was why I'm one of the few people I know who didn't care much for Sideways. But at least Sideways had an interesting plot, as well as snarky moments that made me giggle.

Moving on, the only redeeming thing about the Squid and the Whale were the craptactically horrrrrrrible indie (read: low-budget) previews before the movie that I thankfully did not skip over per usual. If I told you such a movie existed that starred Bobby Donnell from The Practice and Snoop Dog as writers (yes Snoop Dog as a writer, what's next Tara Reid as a scientist? Oh, WAIT..) sharing a mostly abandoned apartment building with the definite possibility of racial hijinks to ensue... You would probably laugh in my face and call me a fucking liar. But no friends! This movie exists! And here is concrete evidence. Yup, no way you could photoshop that.


The Tenants: Coming soon to the dollar DVD rack at a video store near you!

9 comments:

couscouscaboose said...

I LOVE YOU! Thank you for hating Sideways and thank you for agreeing that they are all horrible people.

I rented The Squid and the Whale but didn't watch it. I always rent things that have a Sundance thing on them and why? They're rarely good.

loveyouintheface said...

I secretly...or I guess, now openly love Snoop. I do agree that his role as a writer seems a bit umm..imaginative.
I hated the Squid & Whale because I wanted to like it but couldn't. I did like Sideways. The "Are you chewing gum!?" part made my year.

Chris said...

Am I the only person I know that liked the Squid and the Whale? I don't think I have room here to expound on it. Jeff Daniels' character alone was priceless. Such a pretentious dick. I'm right there with you on Todd Solondz though (at least up to Happiness, that's as far as I've seen).

Oddly enough, I think I could picture Snoop playing a writer... not exactly a Philip Roth type but maybe of extra-sordid pulp thrillers. Hey, the guy's been writing raps for, what, almost 15 years now? I also thought Diddy was okay in that Halle Berry movie - what was it called again, Monster-in-Law? Yeah, that one.

litelysalted said...

Diddy? Halle Berry? Now I'm just confused.

sme said...

There was one good line in the movie - Jeff Daniels describes a philistine as "a guy who’s not interested in books and interesting films and things," which I thought was pretty funny.
If you'd kept watching, you would've been horrified to see the older son sing a Pink Floyd song at his HS Talent Show and claim that he had written it himself.

I do remember seeing the preview for The Tenants and scratching my head. Although, Snoop Dog's movie might be much more fun and entertaining to watch than the Squid and the Whale.

Chris said...

There were lots of good lines in the movie! "Yeah, Kafka, he was one of my predecessors." Again, it was all specific to a certain breed of useless academic asshole. I liked the part where the son tells him he's taking a date to see "Short Circuit," then Jeff Daniels tags along and takes them to see "Blue Velvet" instead. Then he takes them out to get chinese food and silently indicates the son's girlfriend has to pay for hers!

aejrsdfjkl; said...

squid and whale? never heard of it. and i hump netflix weekly. but sideways... i agree and disagree. i have probs w. any films that have characters so depressing that while watching them, i feel so much of their pain that I sink into my couch and have trouble getting up. giamatti reminded me of a certain person who used to play bass for me... and another bass player who offered to play bass for me... whiny boys in need of girlfriends. ironically both are married and I'M STILL SINGLE! whiny people DO end up married. and no i'm not drinking on a monday night.

Anonymous said...

the squid and the whale was terrible. it was essentially a lifetime movie with some bad words.

litelysalted said...

Hee, Anonymous!! Except that I actually like Lifetime movies. Maybe if The Squid and the Whale starred Dylan McDurmott and Tori Spelling I would've actually finished watching it.