Wednesday, April 11, 2007

To Catch a Predator Con Man Shoplifter Jaywalker?

So... The people at Dateline NBC are really milking the hell out of this whole, "To Catch a ____" franchise, aren't they?

Last week it was To Catch an ID Thief. Which really wasn't as frightening as I had imagined, because much like To Catch a Predator, for the most part the crimes in question rely heavily on the cooperation of total dumbasses. It did make me think twice, however, when I engaged in a bout of verbal fisticuffs with a spammer last week that maybe he was in the process of stealing my photograph from my company website for the purpose of using it to manipulate lonely old men into unwittingly committing acts of credit card fraud.

Oh well, probably wouldn't be the worst thing my likeness has been attached to.

Moving on. Last night To Catch a Car Thief premiered, which was much less funny than either of the aforementioned. For one thing, it didn't feature the ever delightful Chris Hansen; (although it did feature "Big George", pictured above) not to mention it was about legitimately frightening criminals with guns. Lots of guns. Although, the addition of Hansen could have been amusing in the right context:

Car thief shows up at nondescript warehouse looking to unload stolen vehicles.

Chris Hansen: Walks out. Hi, how are you? Why don't you have a seat over there—

Car Thief: We been set up! Fuck this shit! BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM!

Car Thief: Yeah. That's what I thought, bitch ass punk!

Oh, I kid. I wish no ill will on my favorite harbinger of unintentional comedy. But on a more serious note, witnessing these very scary criminals in action does beg the question as to why we're not spending more effort on fighting the terror taking place within our own nation rather than going around looking for it overseas? Although I think that is a question for a much more serious and insightful blogger than myself.


Beth said...

This is pretty much how my TV viewing goes every Tues night anymore:

1. Look on Comcast menu, hoping to see something show up on the night devoid of good TV.
2. In listings, see the title "To Catch A..."
3. Get really excited, thinking my beloved predators are back to their old tricks!
4. Hit the "Info" button and see some bunk about Id thieves, con men, etc...
5. Curses!!

TK said...


This is TK from the Department of Homeland Security. The statement in your concluding paragraph, wherein you question the intentions of your government, have been decreed traitorous and seditious. We are dispatching troops to your location. Please cooperate, as you will be placed under arrest, moved to a secret location while a government re-education squad rehabilitates you as to prevent further unnecessary questioning of your beloved government. Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

PS - enjoy Guantanamo Bay, commie.

litelysalted said...

Eh, beats working.

aejr said...

to catch an id thief??? why wasn't megan d'alonzo on???

i'm not her... said...

identity theft...
that's what i'm talking about.
i'm still looking for the bitch that took my good name, went to college, got straight a's and stll can't seem to get a good enough job to pay back the school loans. appearantly, she looks like me down to the fingerprints and birth mark... spoooooookkkkkkyyyyy.... she must have really lifted a good pic of me from online somewhere...

Kimberly said...

I would love to see To Catch A Jaywalker. That would be awesome.

Natalia said...

Hahaha. Oh, how about To Catch A Scrunchie Wearer?

I guess that's What Not to Wear.